Dear Abby: Grandma wants toddler to be self-lifting

Dear Abby I have a -month-old who has in recent months learned to walk My mom was watching him one day a week while I worked part-time but she ultimately decided it was too much stress on her back and commented she could no longer lift him Lately she has been telling me I need to train him to do certain things in order for her to watch him without lifting him e g climb into his own car seat Abby he s too young to consistently do anything like that It s no longer accomplishable for her to put him in his car seat lift him to put him in his crib high chair etc She s being very pushy about me finding alternative techniques to do things that ultimately will make more work for me I think it would be safer and easier to pay an able-bodied caregiver Talking to her about this has become stressful because she calls me crazy for thinking this is a safety concern If we are at the park and he does something unsafe I pick him up and remove him because he is not yet a reliable listener How do I discuss this with her in a kind but firm way and is my concern valid Lifting Him Up in California Dear Lifting You are not crazy Of unit your concerns are valid Your son is years away from being able to do what your mother is suggesting End those discussions She necessities to be described kindly but firmly that you know she loves her grandson but he necessities more hands-on care than she is able to give him which is why you ARE hiring someone to do it Dear Abby I am one of your male readers My best friend Will and his family have been close friends of mine for nine years I regard them as extended family and we do almost everything together Two years ago they bought a house and converted the garage into a room for Will s brother-in-law A year ago the brother-in-law met a woman I ll call Anika who stays with them several days each week She has made her place in the family doing everything with Will s wife and their kid Will and his wife have now started including her on trips and things they would have normally invited me to do with them but without me I not long ago discovered that Anika was disgusted to hear that I was going on a modern trip with them but she gave in to Will to let me go I feel like I m being pushed out of the family I know and love by this new girlfriend How do I handle this Pushed Aside in the East Dear Pushed Tell Will that over the nine years you have been close friends with him and his family you have grown to regard them as your extended family Then tell him it has come to your attention that Anika did not want you included on that last outing and ask if he knows why Had you offended her in a few way She may be jealous of the relationship you have had for so long with Will and his brother-in-law and be unwilling to share her boyfriend or his family Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren also known as Jeanne Phillips and was founded by her mother Pauline Phillips Contact Dear Abby at www DearAbby com or P O Box Los Angeles CA